Script 3rd Draft

Also gone is the boring hunting exposition page. It has become a caption on panel one of the next page. I'm down to 12 pages now which is good. I still feel I need to do something with the wandering the forest page so maybe there will be another draft but I need to think about it.

PAGE 1 (5 panels)

PANEL 1

Long wide panel, close up of sandaled feet running on the ground.

CAPTION

I never thought I would live through my first battle let alone experience and live through such things as I have in the last 5 days.

CENTURION

Keep going! They’re right behind us!

PANEL 2

We focus on a small group of the romans breaking off from the main force. The are heading towards a forest.

CAPTION

Our forces were unable to break the Cimbrian defense and we fled...

FLAVIUS

This way! We’ll lose them in the woods!

Script 2nd Draft

2nd Draft. The opening battle scene is gone. It works better to start with the chase sequence and it didn't add anything other than exposition. Some minor changes elsewhere. The centurion that survives at the end is now Crispus the guy who was going to kill Blasius on page 2.

PAGE 1 (5 panels)

PANEL 1

Long wide panel, close up of sandaled feet running on the ground.

CAPTION

I never thought I would live through my first battle let alone experience and live through such things as I have in the last 5 days.

CENTURION

Keep going! They’re right behind us!

PANEL 2

We focus on a small group of the romans breaking off from the main force. The are heading towards a forest.

CAPTION

Our forces were unable to break the Cimbrian defense and we fled...

FLAVIUS

This way! We’ll lose them in the woods!

Plot

Here's how I broke the story down before writing the script:

Negative - Dishonour Positive Alive

Act 1

• Scene 1 Negative Fighting/Fleeing/Terrified - Resting/Safe/Relieved Positive - 2 pages A battle is taking place between the Roman army and a barbarian army on the fringes of their territory. The battle has raged all day.  A cavalry charge from the barbarians finally turns the tide and we see the Romans being cut down and eventually routed. A small group of the soldiers break off from the main routing force and head towards a nearby forest for refuge. They are pursued by barbarian infantry. Inside the forest the soldiers find themselves still pursued. Silhouettes of the enemy infantry above them against the dusk sky at the edges of the forest but strangely they don’t seem to be entering deep in pursuit.. One of the romans spots a thick mist up ahead. The lead roman, an officer named Flavius orders the men into the mist to lose their pursuing  enemies. They pass through the mist and find themselves still in the forest when they emerge from the other side. There is a moment of respite.